Time for Sommer Vacation

Inter 4 Barcelona 3 (7-6 Agg)

Summer vacation starts early for Barcelona. Or, should we say, Sommer vacation?!

With a legendary first leg to live up to, the second leg at the San Siro delivered and then some, offering a frenzied and goal-laden display that will echo in Champions League history. Though he failed to provide the same end product, even Lamine Yamal matched the dizzying heights of his performance in Barcelona, registering 14 successful take-ons.

But while we’ll remember the first leg for Lamal’s wizardry, the return was a rollicking display of resilience on both sides, each imbued with an undying belief in their ability to punch their ticket to Munich.

The hosts struck first, as Denzel Dumfries carried his imperious form into the San Siro, feeding Lautaro Martinez for the opener in the 21st minute. Inter doubled the advantage before halftime, winning a penalty coolly converted by Hakan Calhanoglu. As good as he is on the volley from thirty yards out, he’s just as clinical from the spot.

Barcelona offered no signs of flinching at the deficit, with Eric Garcia deftly burying a first-time strike from a Gerard Martin cross. Martin turned creator again moments later, artfully guiding an inviting cross onto the arriving head of Dani Olmo to restore parity at 5-5 on aggregate.

With all the momentum, the visitors continued to attack, and Raphinha, denied once by Yann Sommer, stepped onto the ensuing rebound to strike past the Swiss goalkeeper at the far post and give Barcelona an unlikely lead in the 88th minute. Half an hour earlier, they were exiting the competition. Now, only seven minutes—and Francesco Acerbi—stood between them and the final.

In the 93rd minute, Acerbi broke Culer hearts, converting a Dumfries cross with a first-time finish at Wojciech Szczęsny’s near post. (We guess bullies do win, sometimes.)

Early in extra time, Davide Frattesi buried a feed from Mehdi Taremi in the far corner to restore the Inter advantage. This time, it was one they wouldn’t relinquish…thanks to Sommer, who made a miraculous save to deny Yamal in the 114th minute. Sommer made 14 saves across two legs to ensure Inter’s survival and cement his place among the best performances in the competition’s history.

Andy Bernard famously said, “I wish there was a way to know that you’re in the good old days before you’ve left them.” We think every fan appreciated the gravity of the spectacle unfolding before them in the moment. But damn, that won’t stop us from being nostalgic for this Champions League semifinal.

PSG 2 Arsenal 1 (3-1 Agg)

Inter-Barcelona greedily used up the entirety of the semifinal round’s drama, leaving only a tepid affair at Parc des Princes in its wake.

Then again, Fabian Ruiz’s scorching rocket on the half-volley was anything but tepid, opening the scoring for PSG against the run of play after a sustained period of threats from Arsenal.

The goal seemed to rob Arsenal of its belief and energy, and Arteta’s side rarely looked like overturning the deficit afterward. Achraf Hakimi put them 3-0 down with a twirling finish in the 72nd minute, effectively sealing PSG’s passage to Munich.

Bukayo Saka got Arsenal on the board just minutes later, slotting home after a scramble in the box, but it wasn’t enough to spark an unlikely comeback. While the Netflix FC jabs will come thick and fast, there’s no shame in losing to this Paris side, which looks the class of Europe. But Arteta didn’t make things any easier in his insistence that Arsenal were the better side despite losing 3-1 over two legs. He can add that to the trophy case next to his (untrue) assertion that Arsenal’s performance in other seasons would’ve won the Premier League this year.

Running out of room for hypothetical trophies in there, Mikel, you conquering hero!

Still, from top to bottom, the PSG squad is so incredibly well balanced, as if returning to stasis after years of outsized emphasis on Kylian Mbappe. Is Mbappe a sneaky Ewing Theory candidate? Not yet, but we’re watching closely.

We do know this: he’ll be watching from home while his former teammates fight for immortality in Germany.

Paris est magique!

Manchester United 4 Athletic Club 1 (7-1 Agg)

The depleted visitors made things interesting for a half with a 31st-minute banger from Mikel Jauregizar. But without the Williams brothers and Oihan Sancet, Bilbao lacked the firepower to threaten United, and the second half became a celebration at Old Trafford with goals pouring in from all angles.

Mason Mount neutralized Jauregizar’s opener in the 72nd minute, scoring in his second straight match. Casemiro and Rasmus Hojlund joined the fun before Mount netted from midfield to put a bow on the occasion.

Mason Mount banging in goals for a club in lower-tier competitions and Manchester United in a Europa League Final?! The late 2010s called, they want their storylines back.

Bodo/Glimt 0 Spurs 2 (1-5 Agg)

The fixture in Norway didn’t even tease with drama, with the play on pitch failing to meet the excitement of the atmosphere. Dominic Solanke, a poached egg merchant, scored the quintessential poacher’s goal to give Spurs additional cushion, and a wayward Pedro Porro cross found the far post moments later to confirm their place in the Final.

We shouldn’t be surprised. Ange always wins a trophy in his second season, remember?!

What he didn’t tell us, however, was that he might finish 16th (or lower) in the league in the process.

It’s decided: England’s most uncoordinated and clumsy giants will play to become European princes. Like Andre the Giant squaring off against Hagrid after downing a few barrels of butterbeer at The Leaky Cauldron.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Sheffield United are on a mission to give us the most boring outcome imaginable for the three promoted sides from the English Championship. In their quest to join Premier League retreads Leeds and Burnley, they went to Bristol City and won the first leg of the semifinal 3-0.

🇪🇺 Chelsea continued to sleepwalk through the Conference League, beating Djurgarden 1-0 to win 5-1 on aggregate. The other semifinal, however, was the match of the day, as Fiorentina erased a 3-1 deficit with a headed brace from Robin Gosens. But it wasn’t enough to overcome Antony, who is almost becoming too powerful. He scored a jaw-dropping goal for the third straight match and assisted Abde Ezzalzouli’s extra-time winner.

Ha ha, pal. Very funny. Jokes over. You can stop dominating world football now.

🇺🇸 Upset alert! NYCFC crashed out of the US Open Cup, losing to USL Championship side Pittsburgh Riverhounds 1-0. The magic of the cup! Stay weird, US Open.

🇲🇽 The first leg of the Clausura quarterfinals unfolded this week. Not a single higher seed won their away fixture. The results:

• Monterrey 3 Toluca 2

• Pachuca 0 Club América 0

• Leon 2 Cruz Azul 3

• Nexaca 0 Tigres UANL

🇧🇷 In Libertadores action, Palmeiras rolled to a 2-0 victory over Cerro Porteno with goals from Chelsea recruit Estevao and former Barca player Vitor Roque to extend their advantage atop the group. São Paulo got a brace from Andre Silva in a 2-0 win over Allianza Lima to carry good form into this weekend’s visit to Palmeiras.

🇸🇦 Al-Ittihad maintained its tight grip on first place in Saudi Arabia, beating Al Nassr 3-2 with goals from Karim Benzema, N’Golo Kante, and Houssem Aouar. Sadio Mane scored for the hosts.

Chasing Champions League

• 2nd-place Arsenal (67 points) @ 1st-place Liverpool

• 3rd-place Manchester City (64 points) @ 20th-place Southampton

• Circle this one: 4th-place Newcastle (63 points) hosts 5th-place Chelsea (63 points)

• 6th-place Forest (61 points) hosts 19th-place Leicester

• 7th-place Villa (60 points) @ 8th-place Bournemouth

Advantage: Manchester City and Forest. City get to stomp on the league doormat, perhaps not only putting one foot in Europe but also pulling Arsenal into their grasp. Someone above Forest will drop points; they just need to handle a Leicester team that’s only capable of beating Spurs and Saints.

Title at stake: Through more of his magical logic, Mikel could try to wrest the title away from Liverpool should Arsenal secure a result at Anfield. Concerning for the Reds!

Holy crap, don’t miss this game

• 1st-place Barcelona (79 points) hosts 2nd-place Real Madrid (75 points)

Advantage: The viewer. A Clasico with title-deciding implications? Sign us up.

Chasing Champions League

• 4th-place Athletic (61 points) hosts 17th-place Alaves

• 5th-place Villareal (58 points) @ 15th-place Girona

• 6th-place Betis hosts 9th-place Osasuna

Advantage: Villareal. Bilbao are still banged up, and Osasuna is no slouch for Betis. All aboard the Yellow Submarine.

Resisting Relegation

• 15th-place Girona (38 points) hosts 5th-place Villareal

• 16th-place Sevilla (wow, can’t believe they’re this bad - 38 points) @ Celta Vigo

• 17th-place Alaves (35 points) @ 4th-place Athletic

• 18th-place Las Palmas hosts 8th-place Rayo Vallecano

• 19th-place Leganes hosts 14th-place Espanyol

Advantage: Leganes. They face long odds to find safety, but they have to like the look of a fixture list that could drag Las Palmas and Alaves back into the mud.

Scudetto Search

• 1st-place Napoli (77 points) hosts Genoa

• 2nd-place Inter (74 points) @ Torino

Advantage: Napoli! They get to enjoy the home comforts of the Maradona, while their rivals, already drained from the drama of the Champions League semifinal, visit Torino.

Chasing Champions League

• Mamma Mia, don’t miss this one. 3rd-place Atalanta (68 points) hosts 5th-place Roma (63 points)

• Mamma Mia, don’t miss this one either. 4th-place Juventus (63 points) @ 6th-place Lazio (63 points)

• Consider this antipasti. 7th-place Bologna (62 points) @ 9th-place Milan

Advantage: Bologna. Win at Milan on Friday, and watch your competition destroy each other all weekend.

Resisting Relegation

• 15th-place Verona (32 points) hosts 17th-place Lecce (27 points)

• 16th-place Parma (32 points) @ 19th-place Empoli (25 points)

• 18th-place Venezia (26 points) hosts 8th-place Fiorentina

Advantage: Empoli. They’ll fight in front of their home fans, while Venezia has to deal with Moise Kean and company, and Lecce heads on the road to face a Verona side looking to secure safety.

Chasing Champions League

• 3rd-place Frankfurt (56 points) hosts St. Pauli

• 4th-place Freiburg (52 points) @ Holstein Kiel

• 5th-place Dortmund (51 points) @ Leverkusen

• 6th-place Leipzig (50 points) @ Bremen

• 7th-place Mainz (48 points) @ Bochum

Advantage: Freiburg. A visit to 17th-place Holstein Kiel won’t cause the current fourth-place incumbents fright, particularly with tougher matchups facing Dortmund and Leipzig. Mainz has a chance to leap back into the conversation with a similarly easy draw at Bochum, but it may be too late.

Resisting Relegation

• 14th-place St. Pauli (31 points) @ Frankfurt

• 15th-place Hoffenheim (31 points) @ Wolfsburg

• 16th-place Heidenheim (26 points) @ Union

• 17th-place Holstein Kiel (25 points) hosts Freiburg

• 18th-place Bochum (22 points) hosts Mainz

Advantage: Heidenheim. Most of the opponents for the relegation-threatened sides have something consequential left to play for. Union Berlin are already safe, but they’re still among the league’s worst sides. Heidenheim could take a big step toward at least the right to play for their survival, if not toward a chance at staying up automatically.

Chasing Champions League

• Oh, mon Dieu! 3rd-place Monaco (58 points) hosts 7th-place Lyon (54 points)

• 4th-place Nice (57 points) @ Rennes

• 5th-place Lille (57 points) @ Brest

• 6th-place Strasbourg (57 points) @ Angers

Advantage: Strasbourg refuse to lose, and they look well positioned to extend their months-long unbeaten run, while at least one rival could slip up. They’ll hope for shared points between Monaco and Lyon.

Resisting Relegation

• Sacré-bleu! 13th-place Reims (33 points) hosts 17th-place Saint-Etienne (27 points)

• 14th-place Angers (33 points) hosts 6th-place Strasbourg

• 15th-place Nantes (32 points) @ Auxerre

• 16th-place Le Havre (31 points) hosts Marseille

Advantage: Saint-Etienne, with multiple rivals facing tough opposition and a six-point opportunity against Reims. They could go into the final day one point shy of the relegation play-off and two points shy of automatic safety.

🇵🇹 This is the one we’ve been waiting for: level on points, first-place Sporting visits second-place Benfica on Saturday at 1:00 PM ET. There’s still one matchweek to follow, but this feels like a cup final.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Coventry hosts Sunderland in leg one of the other Promotion Play-off Semifinal. Can Jack Rudoni continue to channel his inner Super Frank Lampard to propel Coventry to Wembley?

🇧🇪 Third-place Genk hosts second-place Club Brugge on Sunday at 12:30 PM ET. With Genk six points adrift of the top, this could be the end for their faint title chances.

🇳🇱 Second-place PSV visits Feyenoord on Sunday at 8:30 AM ET. Advantage to league leaders Ajax, who will look to protect their four-point lead while hosting 13th-place NEC on Sunday at 10:45 AM.

🇺🇸 The top two teams in the Eastern Conference clash on Saturday as second-place Philadelphia hosts first-place Columbus at 7:30 PM ET Saturday. Messi and company will pay a visit to Minnesota, who currently sit second in the West, at 4:30 ET.

🇲🇽 In Mexico, the second legs of the Clausura Quarterfinals await:

• Toluca vs. Monterrey (9:00 PM ET SAT, 2-3 Agg)

• Club America vs. Pachuca (11:10 PM SAT, 0-0 Agg)

• Cruz Azul vs. Leon (9:00 PM SUN, 3-2 Agg)

• Tigres vs. Necaxa (11:30 PM SUN, 0-0 Agg)

🇧🇷 Choque-Rei, “the Clash of Kings,” pits first-place Palmeiras against São Paulo on Sunday at 4:30 PM ET in a fierce battle between two of São Paulo’s biggest clubs.

💸 An investor group led by existing shareholders David Beckham and Gary Neville completed a takeover of Salford City, with the other members of the Class of ‘92—Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs, Phil Neville, and Nicky Butt—exiting as shareholders. The success of Wrexham reportedly inspired Beckham to pursue the Salford opportunity with more vigor.

Is that why Paramount+ tried to shove Beckham & Friends down our throats during the Champions League this week? Is Becks trying to build his media exposure to become the next Ryan Reynolds? He was on the right track by including the universally beloved Stanley Tucci as a guest on Tuesday before blowing all goodwill with an invite for James Corden on Wednesday

👋 This morning, Xabi Alonso confirmed his intent to leave Bayer Leverkusen, letting football’s worst-kept secret out of the bag. Next comes the confirmation that Real Madrid is his next stop. We can waffle about the obvious merits of boarding the Death Star, but for now, a tip of the cap for a remarkable job done at Leverkusen.

Alonso not only knocked Bayern off their perch, he guided his side to the first invincible season in Bundesliga history, and therefore to immortality.