He ALWAYS wins a trophy in his second season, mate.

Europe League Final - Tottenham 1 Manchester United 0

Mate. Ange always wins a trophy in his second season.

What became fodder for jokes as Spurs slid to 17th place in the Premier League table and exited both domestic cup competitions is now one of the coldest statements in football history. Give Ange Postecoglou his respect, because, despite the unraveling of an abysmal campaign, the man delivered the trophy that he promised, Spurs’ first since 2008.

And tactically, he deserves a lot of credit, with Spurs set up to keep an unlikely clean sheet. Their only shot on target came from Brennan Johnson’s goal late in the first half. Some might prefer to credit the goal to Luke Shaw. Either way, Pape Matar Sarr’s cross proved incisive and dangerous, like a guided missile programmed to reach the back of the net by any means necessary.

United had their chances in the second half, but they came more from trying to force the ball into the net through brute force than from creative excellence, which was lacking on all parts of the pitch. Micky van de Ven made the play of the match—just as crucial and vastly more impressive than Tottenham’s goal—with a stunning goal-line clearance of a Rasmus Hojlund header.

You won’t see a more athletic play this season.

Guglielmo Vicario made an instinctive save to deny a last-gasp Luke Shaw header in second-half stoppage time, which sent Spurs-supporting hearts into throats, if not out of their mouths and onto the floor. A fanbase, so accustomed to seeing things go wrong in famously devastating fashion, could scarcely believe that things finally went right. But they did. Spurs crossed the finish line, erasing the pain of a season that was otherwise as disastrous as one could imagine.

Improbably, they’ll play Champions League football next season, whether that’s under Postecoglou or not. Make no mistake, this is a major trophy. It may play second fiddle to the Champions League, but the Europa League is not an easy conquest, and Spurs won’t and shouldn’t take it for granted.

Victory, saved from the jaws of disaster.

Look what it means to Sonny, who has patiently stood by the club, waiting ages for this moment as others have departed for pastures new.

In United’s case, defeat cements the reality of their own disastrous campaign. There are no silver linings for incurring 19 Premier League defeats. No trophies for going unbeaten in Europe until the final. Without Champions League football, and with Amorim likely to stay, you wonder if this might only be the beginning of worse days ahead for a club clearly suffering from deep-seated and widespread cultural issues. Then again, could it really get worse? The only depths waiting below are of the relegation variety.

We suspect we won’t soon forget the most consequential clash of 16th and 17th-placed teams in history. It could prove a turning point for two giants of English football. United fans will hope it marks the bottom.

Manchester City 3 Bournemouth 1

Undeterred by their FA Cup defeat, Manchester City ended Kevin De Bruyne’s Etihad career on a high note, comfortably handling Bournemouth to remain in the driver’s seat for Champions League qualification.

Omar Marmoush opened the scoring with a physics-defying humdinger, and Bernardo Silva doubled the advantage 24 minutes later.

Uncharacteristically, De Bruyne foiled his chances at a fairytale sendoff, hitting the crossbar from point-blank range. First Mo Salah missed a sitter over the weekend. Now De Bruyne. What next?! Tottenham winning a trophy?!

City’s blushes persisted, as Mateo Kovacic earned a needless red card for a last-man foul on an escaping Evanilson. The ultimate victim of that decision? City’s beverage cooler, which suffered yet another devastating karate kick from the trendy, expensive shoe of Pep Guardiola. We need a commercial set to music from Sarah McLachlan pleading for the end of touchline cooler violence.

And the cooler’s injuries were sustained in vain anyway, as Lewis Cook earned a red card of his own moments later to restore parity. Nico Gonzalez scored deep in the second half to ensure City’s victory, despite a stoppage-time consolation goal for Daniel Jebbison. But perhaps the sweetest City victory of the day was the return of their Ballon d’Or-winning midfielder Rodri, who could finish their campaign on a high note with a return to the Champions League and a strong Club World Cup showing.

It appears the Spaniard is quite integral, as demonstrated by the worst City season in ages unfolding in his absence; don’t tell Real Madrid and Vini Jr. we said so.

Crystal Palace 4 Wolves 2 

In a power ranking of matches that do not matter, this clash between midtable sides would sit near the top. But Palace, celebrating their FA Cup triumph in front of the home fans at Selhurst, carried the good vibes onto the pitch.

Former Arsenal striker Eddie Nketiah (we’re pretty sure he legally changed his name to “Former Arsenal striker Eddie Nketiah” because we’ve never heard a commentator call him anything else) scored a brace to give the hosts the lead after Emmanuel Agbadou’s opener for Wolves. Ben Chilwell and weekend hero Eberechi Eze added second-half goals to prolong the celebrations.

Just two points separate Palace from a top-half finish, but perhaps Dean Henderson put it most eloquently in song when he declared, “12th again, who gives a f—-? We won the FA Cup.”

🇫🇷 Metz and Reims played to a 1-1 draw in the first leg of the Ligue 1 Promotion/Relegation playoff. They’ll meet again next Thursday at Reims to settle it.

🇩🇪 Heidenheim and Elversberg echoed similar notes in a 2-2 stalemate in the first leg of the Bundesliga Promotion/Relegation playoff. They’ll play the second leg on Monday at Elversberg.

🇳🇱 In the Eredivise, four teams are vying for a Conference League spot. Yesterday’s semifinals saw AZ Alkmaar beat Heerenveen 4-1 and FC Twente beat NEC Nijmegen 3-2. Alkmaar and Twente will square off on Sunday.

🇮🇹 The promotion playoffs are underway in Italy, where Spezia went to Catanzaro and emerged 2-0 victors and Juve Stabia won 2-1 at home against Cremonese. The return legs are set for Sunday.

🇺🇸 The US Open Cup Quarterfinals will feature 8 MLS sides, as Pittsburgh Riverhounds FC bowed out in a 4-1 loss to Philadelphia. The 8 remaining clubs are: DC United, Minnesota United, New York Red Bulls, Nashville, Philadelphia, Austin, Chicago, and San Jose.

🇲🇽 In the first leg of Clausura Final action, América and Toluca drew 0-0 in Mexico City. The second leg is set for Sunday.

🇧🇷 Palmeiras cruised past Ceara 3-0 in Copa do Brasil action, powered by a brace from Estevao. Meanwhile, Neymar’s Santos crashed out to CRB in penalties.

🇦🇷 Platense beat River Plate in penalties on Tuesday to advance to the semifinals after River Plate equalized with a 102nd-minute penalty from their starlet and PSG-target Franco Mastantuono.

🇸🇦 After their disappointment in missing out on the AFC Champions League Elite, Al Nassr bounced back with a futile 2-0 win over Al Khaleej, with goals from Jhon Duran and Cristiano Ronaldo (from the spot).

The final day of the Premier League season is upon us, and it feels like the end of spring semester at college. Filled with exhaustion and lots of sadness, but also endless memories and plenty to celebrate.

The carnage of the Champions League race is the blowout bash we’ve all been waiting for. Pump the kegs, let’s do this.

🇪🇺 Chasing Champions League

• 3rd-place Manchester City (68 points) visits 10th-place Fulham

• 4th-place Newcastle (66 points) hosts 13th-place Everton

• 5th-place Chelsea (66 points) visit 7th-place Forest (65 points)

• 6th-place Villa (66 points) visit 16th-place United

Breakdown: We cannot and will not rule out any outcome.

We know this: a draw should see City into the competition, and the gamblers among us would surely agree they’re the safest bet after pocketing a two-point advantage on the field.

Alexander Isak’s status remains uncertain for Newcastle, and that absence could loom large.

Meanwhile, Forest could not have asked for a better opportunity after all they’ve been through, but beating Chelsea at the City Ground isn’t enough. They’ll need help further up the table.

Speaking of going through a lot, can Amorim’s United possibly present a spirited challenge to Villa after another in a long line of disappointments?

Don’t forget: Liverpool will finally lift the trophy after another spirited loss to Crystal Palace to complete the hangover tour. We predict that, with their point made, the fans will give Trent Alexander-Arnold a warm—though not effusive—sendoff.

Before we bid arrivederci to the Serie A season, the Italian top flight has Europe’s most dramatic final day in store for us. It begins Friday afternoon with the decisive matches for the Scudetto before both the European and relegation pictures will become clear on Sunday.

🏆 Scudetto Search

• 1st-place Napoli (79 points) hosts 14th-place Cagliari

• 2nd-place Inter (78 points) @ 10th-place Como

Breakdown: It’s hard not to like Napoli’s chances. Inter has to go to Como to play Cesc Fabregas’s surging side who will surely want to send a warning shot across the bow of the rest of the league heading into next season. That is not a favorable matchup compared to Napoli’s home-field advantage against a middling (at best) Cagliari side. Then again, Napoli just drew against Parma, so stranger things have happened.

In any case, we’re beyond thrilled to see a title decided on the final day.

🇪🇺 Chasing Champions League

• 4th-place Juventus (67 points) @ 19th-place Venezia

• 5th-place Roma (66 points) @ 11th-place Torino

• 6th-place Lazio (65 points) hosts 17th-place Lecce

Breakdown: You might be tempted to tilt the advantage in Juventus’s favor with their opposition sitting 19th, but Venezia can still play their way into survival (more on that in a moment). The same applies to Lazio playing Lecce, though they can at least enjoy the comforts of home. The stakes are incredibly high for everyone listed here except Torino. Perhaps that favors a celebratory, storybook sendoff for Claudio Ranieri?

Your guess is as good as ours. A certainty: this time slot will offer drama fit for the box office.

Don’t forget: Fiorentina, holding the tiebreak advantage against Lazio, can leapfrog them (and only them) to return to the Conference League. But it will take a Fiorentina win and a Lazio loss.

🛟 Resisting Relegation

• 15th-place Verona (34 points) @ 18th-place Empoli (31 points)

• 16th-place Parma (33 points) @ 3rd-place Atalanta

• 17th-place Lecce (31 points) @ 6th-place Lazio

• 19th-place Venezia (29 points) hosts 4th-place Juventus

Breakdown: This could get complicated. Really complicated. Something worth knowing up front: if two teams finish level on points for 17th, they play a two-leg playoff, but if three or more teams finish level, they’re arranged into a mini table featuring only the results from their head-to-head games to decide the outcome.

Verona. Safe with a draw or a win.

Parma. Safe with a win. Safe with a draw and one of Lecce/Empoli failing to win.

Lecce. Safe with a win and Empoli failing to win. Safe with a draw and an Empoli loss and Venezia failing to win.

Empoli. Safe with a win and Lecce/Venezia failing to win. Safe with a draw and a Lecce loss and Venezia failing to win.

Venezia. Safe with a win and Empoli/Lecce losses.

Those permutations seem fairly straightforward. So let’s dirty things up by pondering a few wild scenarios.

• Verona, Parma, Lecce, and Empoli all finish on 34 points (Empoli beats Verona, Parma draws at Atalanta, Lecce beats Lazio). In that case, Empoli and Lecce would be safe, and Verona and Parma would contest a playoff.

• Verona, Lecce, and Empoli all finish on 34 points (Empoli beats Verona, Lecce beats Lazio, Parma beats Atalanta). Lecce would be safe, and Empoli and Verona would square off.

• Empoli, Lecce, and Venezia all finish on 32 points (Empoli draws Verona, Lecce draws Lazio, Venezia beats Juventus). In that scenario, Empoli gets relegated, and Lecce and Venezia play for survival.

• Venezia finishes on 32 points, Empoli and Lecce finish on 31 points (Empoli loses, Lecce loses, Venezia wins). Venezia stays up, and Empoli and Lecce enter the playoff.

Yikes. Just hope that whichever commentators you’re watching have a good handle on all this.

La Liga is the least exciting league of the bunch this weekend, but there’s still plenty at stake.

🇪🇺 Europa/Conference League

• 7th-place Celta Vigo (52 points) @ 13th-place Getafe

• 8th-place Rayo Vallecano (51 points) hosts 10th-place Mallorca

• 9th-place Osasuna (51 points) @ 14th-place Alaves

Breakdown: 7th place will qualify for the Europa League while 8th will represent La Liga in the Conference League. Celta Vigo had been in the driver’s seat until a loss to Rayo Vallecano last weekend, but they could just as easily fall out of Europe altogether. We know, Conference League football doesn't motivate you to block off your Saturday afternoon schedule. But these aren't household European names, and qualification could prove extremely meaningful. Put differently: there will be scenes.

🛟 Resisting Relegation

• 17th-place Espanyol (39 points) hosts 19th-place Las Palmas

• 18th-place Leganes (37 points) hosts 20th-place Valladolid

Breakdown: The question is which of the already relegated sides will prove more accommodating? It would be cruel for Espanyol’s fans to endure Barcelona clinching the title and their own relegation in the space of a week and a half. But that nightmare scenario is very much in play. Leganes have the head-to-head tiebreaker working in their favor, so three points would seem to be a necessity.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 The richest match in sports—and our favorite match on the footballing calendar—is here. Sheffield United and Sunderland will meet at Wembley at 10:00 AM ET on Saturday in the Promotion Playoff Final. It’s truly the best theater in the sport, if not all of sports.

If you miss that, the League One Promotion Final sees Charlton Athletic rival Leyton Orient for a spot in the Championship at 8:00 AM ET.

🇩🇪 On Saturday at 2:00 PM ET, Arminia Bielefeld and Stuttgart square off for the DFB Pokal and a spot in next season’s Europa League. Stuttgart enter winners of their last three, but Bielefeld have slayed far bigger dragons in their journey to the final.

🇫🇷 In France, PSG meets Reims in the Coupe de France Final on Saturday at 3:00 PM ET. For Reims, the match is sandwiched between their Promotion/Relegation Playoff tilts, in what has to be one of the oddest end-of-season fixture lists ever. Still, they could potentially contest Europa League football from Ligue 2 next season. Lyon and Strasbourg will hope they don’t, as a PSG win bumps Lyon into the Europa League and Strasbourg into the Conference League.

🇵🇹 Sporting and Benfica met two weekends ago in what felt like a cup final. Now, with Sporting victors in the league, they meet again in an actual cup final, as they’ll meet to decide the Taca de Portugal in what will be a fitting end to an incredible Portuguese season.

🇧🇪 It’s decision day in Belgium on Sunday. League leaders Union Saint-Gilloise host Gent at 12:30 PM ET, while second place Club Brugge hosts Antwerp. Just one point separates them.

🇮🇹 The second leg of the Serie B Promotion Playoff takes place on Sunday, with Cremonese hosting Juve Stabia trailing 2-1 on aggregate, and Spezia hosting Catanzaro with a 2-0 lead.

🇩🇪 On Monday at 2:30 PM ET, Heidenheim heads to Elversberg for the second leg of the Bundesliga Promotion/Relegation Playoff with the score tied 2-2 on aggregate.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Aberdeen and champions Celtic meet for the Scottish Cup at 10:00 AM ET on Saturday.

🇳🇱 AZ Alkmaar and Twente play for a spot in the Conference League at 12:00 PM ET Sunday.

🇺🇸 Can Inter Miami stop their freefall? They face another tall task, visiting first-place Philadelphia at 7:30 PM ET on Saturday.

🇲🇽 In Mexico, the second leg of the Clausura Final (tied 0-0 on aggregate) sees Toluca hosting América.

🇧🇷 First meets second in Brazil, as Palmeiras welcomes Flamengo on Sunday at 3:00 PM ET. This comes just one week after Palmeiras faced and beat third-place RB Bragantino.

🇦🇷 The Torneo Apertura Semifinals begin this weekend. Independiente hosts Huracan on Saturday at 5:30 PM ET, while San Lorenzo hosts Platense on Sunday at 3:00 PM ET.

⚪👋 Luka Modric’s Real Madrid career is coming to an end. He’ll make his final bow at the Bernabeu this weekend before playing in his last games for the club at the Club World Cup. His departure follows a year after that of Toni Kroos, marking the end of a storied era.

Plans for his future are unclear, but we know this: when it comes to aging Real Madrid players, you either retire a hero or play long enough to see yourself flounder at Manchester United.

🤝 In managerial news, Hansi Flick extended his Barcelona contract after a dream season. Raphinha also put pen to paper on an extension with the club yesterday. Will Luis Diaz join him in the Barcelona attack? Rumors suggest the club wants him, but can they acquire him without entering another registration limbo saga?

🔟 Meanwhile, after rejection from Cesc Fabregas, it appears that Leverkusen will turn to Erik Ten Hag, who sheds his radioactivity as a candidate with each additional United loss.